Cause and Effect At The Heart of Any Problem

Recently I talked to a woman who told me about many problems she knew she had, and while she was talking I noticed that everything she said was a problem that she assigned to other people and circumstances that she believed were out side of her ability to control. It made me wonder why so often people surrender themselves to any problem simply because they feel their circumstances are outside of the locus of their control.

In any problem there are at least 2 parts that make up its base equation and those are cause and effect. I believe that when we assess any problem in our lives, the first question we should ask ourselves is "Am I on the Cause or Effect side of this problem?" By definition a cause, literally causes a certain effect. Now if you are on the cause side of the equation then you then say “yes, I create all of the effects that happen in my life, yes, I’m create all of the effects that happen in my world. I am responsible for everything I create” in a joyous and meaningful way. Now on the other part of the equation, which by the way is the most uncomfortable side, and is also the side that most people in the world are on at this time. Is the effect side of the equation, on the effect side one would say “Yes, everything that happens to me someone else did, every thing that happens to me I didn’t do it myself someone did it to me.” It is definitely more popular to be on the effect side than the cause side of any problem it seems.

What this means is that we have to ask our selves in these times is “Who is in charge of the results you produce?” or as Dr. Richard Bandler is often quoted as saying “who is driving the bus?” I think that this is a very good question, now think about this for just a moment. If you’re on the cause side of the question, then you are the one who is going to produce results for which you can take credit for and fell wonderful or at the very least successful. But if you’re on the effect side of the equation, instead of results, you’re going to have only reasons why you didn’t get the things you wanted.  I don’t know how much you have thought about this, but the reasons side of life is not really best side to be on. It certainly is not the most empowering or even fulfilling side to be on for sure. I want you to know through any number of years, no matter how many numbers of years it may be, it will not be the most satisfying side to be on. Unfortunately the fact is that it is the most prevalent side most of society is on today. I think that this type of thinking is best summed up by the great American philosopher Bart Simpson who said “I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, and you can’t prove anything!” or maybe that was one of our presidents? Anyhow the effects side of the equations we like to be on and this is true for most societies around the world. In business there is a saying that goes “If at first you don’t succeed, fix the blame fast, and sue the SOB for every dime you can get!” Even in the things we see in our media we have advertisements that say “If you’re injured in an accident, it’s not your fault! Find out who did it and call “these” lawyers and we’ll help you sure them for everything you deserve!”

But the fact remains that the effect side of the equation is not a very satisfying side to be on. Imagine being on this side of the equation for the rest of your life, and see your self around age 95, realize that you have never created the opportunity to get a single thing that you ever wanted in your life.  You will realize that this is not really a very satisfying side to be on at all. I’m sure you can think of at least one person you know like this, they always say something like, well I would have been a success if it had not have been for “blank” and then they will name someone, and they’ll say its the IRS, an ex partner, an ex spouse, someone that did “it” to them. That they didn’t do and it’s not their fault. Most clients come in and they ask for help, and most times they state that they have tried to change but they couldn’t and that this was their spouses fault, their employer’s fault, in education there are tons of disenfranchised learner’s, people that have developed a learning dis-ability, and they can’t learn because they have this thing or that thing, that particular problem that keep them from learning. In business we have a sales person who can’t sell because the economy is down, or they can’t sell because the economy is up, or side ways, or bonds are up, or who knows what, what ever the limitation is if you can move yourself from the effect side of the equation to the cause side of the equation you find something magical happens, you get to never have this problem ever again.

The important thing to know about being on the cause side of the equation is that any time that you assign someone or something as the cause of any problem, you are essentially giving up any and all power you have to not only resolve any situation, but also you are throwing away valuable learning’s that could assist you in avoiding future problems such as these as well as the piece of mind that comes with knowing you can overcome such obstacles, and just the knowledge that you have overcome that obstacle once previously is invaluable to our self esteem, self worth, and can only increase the positive messages to the unconscious that we do have control of any problem we face even if that means we simply have control over only our own actions.

I think it bears repeating that in life all we have either results or reasons, and results are things that we want, need, or desire, where as reasons are as my mother used to say “a pocket full could have’s”. Reasons are something you can not take to the bank; if I went to my landlord this month and told him “I’m sorry I can’t pay you because the economy is bad” you can imagine his response would be less than positive.

Another thing about reasons is also that if you have many reasons that fill your life, you will attract and find others that will support those reasons. Everyday there are literally millions of support groups through out the US. The fact is that people get together in groups like this and take care of each other needs to have these reasons that hold them back at times and often all this does for anyone is supply support for people’s reasons for why they can not change.

Now I can not really say if it is truth that we cause the bad things that happen to us, but I do know and believe that the sum total of our conscious and unconscious choices have lead us to where we are today. And if you find that you are on the effect side of any equation the only way we can achieve the goal that we were seeking that lead us there is if we move our selves from the effects side of the equation and bring ourselves over to the cause side of the equation, we do this by changing, the internal representations that occur in our minds, and by doing so changing the experience we currently have as a result of what has happened to you in the past so that they are of your creation. The moment that you accept that and move to the cause side of the equation saying “Ok, I chose this, I created this (even if it was an unconscious decision), now I’m done with it, I’ve really had enough of it, and now its time to move on.” In this we are embracing the situation so that you can get learning lessons from the situation, because learning is the key. I truly do not think that any one would consciously and willingly create any situation where they would have the government come after them, or people would do bad things to them. But I honestly do think that we do put ourselves in the situation that we are by our conscious and unconscious choices, and just knowing and deciding that, then you truly have the ability to decide where you want to be today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life.